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Post by Jacen on Jul 20, 2023 11:59:28 GMT -7
I discovered something about myself some time ago, that I felt better when I was angry or apathetic. Anger, I've found (much as Palpatine described) does give me focus and makes me stronger. It more or less gives me energy. Now, I try not to cross the line into hatred. That's an extreme of anger and it tends to just make me miserable.
Apathy, on the other hand, helps me realize what is actually important. I start not to give a shit about the little things and it's liberating. It's not that it makes me not care, but rather allows me to focus on what I should care about, and the rest can go fuck itself.
Anyone else find this true for yourself?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2023 2:43:59 GMT -7
you were able to feed on emotions properly for your focus, my friend, that's good to hear, and you're doing it in balance, which is admirable. The reason you're in balance is as far as I know to prevent it from turning into pain or, when you get hate, you can get away from the things you need to focus on. ( questioning why I'm growing so fast , too much nihilism , started reading books about loving unhappiness )
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 9:45:49 GMT -7
I discovered something about myself some time ago, that I felt better when I was angry or apathetic. Anger, I've found (much as Palpatine described) does give me focus and makes me stronger. It more or less gives me energy. Now, I try not to cross the line into hatred. That's an extreme of anger and it tends to just make me miserable. Apathy, on the other hand, helps me realize what is actually important. I start not to give a shit about the little things and it's liberating. It's not that it makes me not care, but rather allows me to focus on what I should care about, and the rest can go fuck itself. Anyone else find this true for yourself? I did not feed or hold onto anger to feel better. I feel a myriad of emotions but felt better when I loved myself or integrated myself. At first I couldn't but felt/feel better when I do that. I temper myself and don't see importance in holding onto shit that isn't necessary so yes do I feel apathy yes. However it's not a tool to use for escapism. I've been working to reconcile and find closure on a few things then adjust my mindset. in a way it helps me clear things I've been holding onto and allowing in my mental real estate. Swinging from one Side of the spectrum to the other is stupid to me in my option and weakness. One doesn't need to use extremes but acknowledge the whole of the experience. If you still on extremes then look in the middle more and find true balance. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 9:49:22 GMT -7
you were able to feed on emotions properly for your focus, my friend, that's good to hear, and you're doing it in balance, which is admirable. The reason you're in balance is as far as I know to prevent it from turning into pain or, when you get hate, you can get away from the things you need to focus on. ( questioning why I'm growing so fast , too much nihilism , started reading books about loving unhappiness ) Nihilism has it's benefits yet you become a black hole. Sith are egotistical and the ego when mastered is a powerful steed that can take you places. Yet it needs to be tempered so one can get the best performance out of it. Nihilism is good for stripping shit away and breaking the scaffolding of the construct of the paradigm, however one must also rebuild not just keep nothing in it's place. Humans need a drive or at least for me I have a drive/aim/direction so I don't become a mindless black hole of nothingness. I get to choose what I give meaning and I get to choose what is important to me. I get to choose what I fill my mind with and I get to choose my direction. If I just became a nihilist it'd counter what I do to give life meaning and idk I for me nihilism doesn't work for me yet hey if it works for you then great. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 9:51:55 GMT -7
I discovered something about myself some time ago, that I felt better when I was angry or apathetic. Anger, I've found (much as Palpatine described) does give me focus and makes me stronger. It more or less gives me energy. Now, I try not to cross the line into hatred. That's an extreme of anger and it tends to just make me miserable. Apathy, on the other hand, helps me realize what is actually important. I start not to give a shit about the little things and it's liberating. It's not that it makes me not care, but rather allows me to focus on what I should care about, and the rest can go fuck itself. Anyone else find this true for yourself? I did not feed or hold onto anger to feel better. I feel a myriad of emotions but felt better when I loved myself or integrated myself. At first I couldn't but felt/feel better when I do that. I temper myself and don't see importance in holding onto shit that isn't necessary so yes do I feel apathy yes. However it's not a tool to use for escapism. I've been working to reconcile and find closure on a few things then adjust my mindset. in a way it helps me clear things I've been holding onto and allowing in my mental real estate. Swinging from one Side of the spectrum to the other is stupid to me in my option and weakness. One doesn't need to use extremes but acknowledge the whole of the experience. If you still on extremes then look in the middle more and find true balance. I don't think your fully balanced because look one can feel any emotion as a response. It's what we do with it that matters, to not feel is to deny part of reality. I feel hatred yet do I let it devour me no. I just move on and it comes in then comes out. I temper my reactions to my emotions and my actions when I feel said emotions. As I said wholeness and balance is found when one can feel anything yet make empowered choices. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 16:53:03 GMT -7
I did not feed or hold onto anger to feel better. I feel a myriad of emotions but felt better when I loved myself or integrated myself. At first I couldn't but felt/feel better when I do that. I temper myself and don't see importance in holding onto shit that isn't necessary so yes do I feel apathy yes. However it's not a tool to use for escapism. I've been working to reconcile and find closure on a few things then adjust my mindset. in a way it helps me clear things I've been holding onto and allowing in my mental real estate. Swinging from one Side of the spectrum to the other is stupid to me in my option and weakness. One doesn't need to use extremes but acknowledge the whole of the experience. If you still on extremes then look in the middle more and find true balance. I don't think your fully balanced because look one can feel any emotion as a response. It's what we do with it that matters, to not feel is to deny part of reality. I feel hatred yet do I let it devour me no. I just move on and it comes in then comes out. I temper my reactions to my emotions and my actions when I feel said emotions. As I said wholeness and balance is found when one can feel anything yet make empowered choices. plus you always complaining bout how the jedi disrespect you, how about stop trying to help them. Focus on yourself and just stop putting yourself in that situation. I had to learn that lesson too. You lack the strength to follow through, twice now you've created something then quit. Why are you even a knight at all? You say vixen is refreshing yet you fail to see how they think rank is important, and why they'd go through such lengths to argue about it with petty new children who come onto this site. all of you are effing fools in my opinion . |
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VixenV
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Post by VixenV on Sept 21, 2023 18:29:31 GMT -7
Do you ever shut up? You love to hear your own pathetic voice don't ya.. guess what that is. yea, narcissism.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 19:50:57 GMT -7
Do you ever shut up? You love to hear your own pathetic voice don't ya.. guess what that is. yea, narcissism. you always be inserting yourself into convos when on one wants you there, sure bud. Always fighting for the community cause that's your main source for attention. Does Audra still know your a fucking bully and a predator? Maybe I should go tell her you tried to do revenge porn on me. Then we will see if she's really a corrupt correctional officer who will do the right thing or choose the side of a fucking pedo criminal. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 19:53:04 GMT -7
Do you ever shut up? You love to hear your own pathetic voice don't ya.. guess what that is. yea, narcissism. the reason why your little therapist can't help you is because you are beyond saving, salvaging, and honestly your just like luciana. She told me her real name years ago when we did that collaboration on Soundcloud. Her real name Shelley Aermonael yet hey she never thought about any of that shit and then whines when someone in her words doxxed her yet she did it to herself without even thinking. None of you think and honestly I'm tired of hearing about the old guard this and old guard that. I'm tired of holding back and this feels so damn freeing. I have done noting wrong and honestly ally you can enjoy this convo cause I know ur lame ass is watching and you can go tell luci that herself. She did it to herself awhile ago. one of the dumbest strategists martial artists in the whole wide world. you guys are like two peas in a fucking pod. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 20:03:26 GMT -7
Do you ever shut up? You love to hear your own pathetic voice don't ya.. guess what that is. yea, narcissism. the reason why your little therapist can't help you is because you are beyond saving, salvaging, and honestly your just like luciana. She told me her real name years ago when we did that collaboration on Soundcloud. Her real name Shelley Aermonael yet hey she never thought about any of that shit and then whines when someone in her words doxxed her yet she did it to herself without even thinking. None of you think and honestly I'm tired of hearing about the old guard this and old guard that. I'm tired of holding back and this feels so damn freeing. I have done noting wrong and honestly ally you can enjoy this convo cause I know ur lame ass is watching and you can go tell luci that herself. She did it to herself awhile ago. one of the dumbest strategists martial artists in the whole wide world. you guys are like two peas in a fucking pod. I used to spend time comparing myself but now I realize idiots like idiots. Everyone is the community is so fucking sensitive , weak, and doesn't know when ot pull the plug on people like you. Ally is a moron who defends the wrong people, and someday the community will boot you away just like I tried to do. I realize I will never be good enough or liked at all which honestly that's fine. I like myself, I'm proud of myself for stepping up to you, I'm proud of myself for once in my life not overthinking any of this. Or worrying about it, I am free. People should be scared, miles was because I am ten times stronger. I still don't understand why aeitus would say "I don't want her in my life." then add me out of what....pity after the shit with Diana at his server....I forget his name. I don't want pity. I don't even want recognition anymore and have given it to the fire. I wanted to be seen but now I understand that'll never happen and honestly I don't understand why pepole just do that, say one thing then do the other. it's so damn confusing to me and I don't understand why khaos was silent then came to my server. I don't understand why the fuck people would just do the things they do and I'm so tired of it all. I'm not apologizing to him anymore and so done feeing bad holding back trying to win affection of others that I see as fatherly. I am my own fuel, my own power, my own source, and honestly I don't need anyone. I am me and I'm fine with that. I don't wanna understand nor do I care. go rot in hell for all I care because retribution is happening. maybe those women weren't the abusers....you were and yes you did hit them. maybe Cheryl is right and maybe everyone of those women including Mendocino deserved a fucking divorce from you cause you are so horrible to be around. y |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2023 20:46:39 GMT -7
I really don't think anyone gives a fuck about what you think or this site anymore. Your few cronies that follow you around like kurai are pretty pathetic. why do you continue? You lost control a long time ago when Luciana destroyed you, and you have never recovered. You are like Lestat from vampire chronicles, hiding in the shadows, afraid of even rats. Your a pathetic wretch, a shell of your former self... Disgusting coward."-Vixen
Draconis is one of my favorite people here and I will stand by his side because of what he has shown me/taught me/ and that's something luci will never teach anyone. He has hosted you, how dare you disrespect our host. if you dun like it then get the fuck out. secondly he has taught me that there is a sith reality without having to defend oneself against political games or repetitional slander/baiting etc. him not being a part of It showed me a lot and honestly I'm grateful he did that.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2023 15:52:05 GMT -7
Do you ever shut up? You love to hear your own pathetic voice don't ya.. guess what that is. yea, narcissism. the reason why your little therapist can't help you is because you are beyond saving, salvaging, and honestly your just like luciana. She told me her real name years ago when we did that collaboration on Soundcloud. Her real name Shelley Aermonael yet hey she never thought about any of that shit and then whines when someone in her words doxxed her yet she did it to herself without even thinking. None of you think and honestly I'm tired of hearing about the old guard this and old guard that. I'm tired of holding back and this feels so damn freeing. I have done noting wrong and honestly ally you can enjoy this convo cause I know ur lame ass is watching and you can go tell luci that herself. She did it to herself awhile ago. one of the dumbest strategists martial artists in the whole wide world. Doxxing is literally using knowledge someone has given you of their IRL identity and putting it in places where that knowledge isn't usually accessible. Just because she gave you her real name, it doesn't mean she wanted other people to know it. And given that you then went to her FB page and left comments calling her "Luciana" in front of people who didn't necessarily know that was a name she went by... yeh, I'd say you screwed up and should maybe have apologized. Especially as you knew KT was looking to "rape" her, as you put it, in one of your posts you now deleted. But you just double down and call her dumb for trusting you with her real name... and then blame her for having a public FB page... Yeh, maybe she was dumb for trusting you, but she sure doesn't look like the bad guy in this one. |
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VixenV
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Post by VixenV on Sept 24, 2023 16:39:40 GMT -7
the reason why your little therapist can't help you is because you are beyond saving, salvaging, and honestly your just like luciana. She told me her real name years ago when we did that collaboration on Soundcloud. Her real name Shelley Aermonael yet hey she never thought about any of that shit and then whines when someone in her words doxxed her yet she did it to herself without even thinking. None of you think and honestly I'm tired of hearing about the old guard this and old guard that. I'm tired of holding back and this feels so damn freeing. I have done noting wrong and honestly ally you can enjoy this convo cause I know ur lame ass is watching and you can go tell luci that herself. She did it to herself awhile ago. one of the dumbest strategists martial artists in the whole wide world. Doxxing is literally using knowledge someone has given you of their IRL identity and putting it in places where that knowledge isn't usually accessible. Just because she gave you her real name, it doesn't mean she wanted other people to know it. And given that you then went to her FB page and left comments calling her "Luciana" in front of people who didn't necessarily know that was a name she went by... yeh, I'd say you screwed up and should maybe have apologized. Especially as you knew KT was looking to "rape" her, as you put it, in one of your posts you now deleted. But you just double down and call her dumb for trusting you with her real name... and then blame her for having a public FB page... Yeh, maybe she was dumb for trusting you, but she sure doesn't look like the bad guy in this one. And the cycle completes itself once again, the justifier of its actions self incriminates itself once again. Aimee (the it) is the queen doxer, revealing to the world, over and over, secret info she gained under the guise of trust from not only me but my family. And now she spreads it all over the place in some inane attempt to shock me or gain some power over me to make me go away. But "its" conscience never goes away. And "its" quitting boards over and over tells the world she is guilty. I however... remain, inextricably, VIXEN! I am Sovergn, I carry no guilt, I've done no wrong as a Sith. I am pure. Perhaps the only truly pure Sith to ever exist. Learn from me my minions and perhaps, one day, you will gain the wisdom and prowess and peace among the chaos I possess. Yes, life is a paradox, and peace is a lie, but to gain peace in the face of pure truth is a pursuit of excellence any Sith strives for. Perfection is impossible, and yet I struggle for the achievement. And in each empire I build I must face this fact. So what am I to do as a Sith? well I sharpen my tools and I begin again,... over and over,... till the void takes me home. Aimee your inevitable destination, if you continue on this path, is a self imposed hell of Self-justification, doubt and lies. Reaper! thy self will take its toll on thee! |
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VixenV
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Post by VixenV on Sept 24, 2023 17:04:39 GMT -7
BTW Aimee, you also just lied about Lucianas real name. twat.
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